Our Life in Los Angeles Over Three Years: Why It Never Felt Like Home

Last updated on May 15th, 2023

Ahh Los Angeles, a city of dreams, sun, surf, sand, and.. Hollywood. The largest city in California and the second-largest urban area in the United States remains a destination for many people from around the world. They come to visit, they come to stay. And learn what life in Los Angeles is all about.

When I visited Los Angeles for the first time in my life I knew right away I wanted to move there. And who wouldn’t, right? In this city sun shines every day, palm trees bend along the way, the mountains are on the right, the beach is on the left, everyone seems happy and content.

Life in Los Angeles.
Every new day in Los Angeles is sunny and with blue skies. It is a dream, isn’t it?! But sometimes visibility is poor due to pollution in the air. Can you spot it?
life in los angeles
Palm tree life in Southern California

On one December day, I flew to LA with my friend from a snowy, windy city in Kentucky state. Most of the country at that time was getting snow, ice, and lower temperatures.

In Los Angeles, unlike the rest of the country, the weather was almost perfect. Daily temperatures were 60-70 degrees and the sun was smiling down on us. Besides the weather, we felt how vibrant, diverse, health-conscious, and entertaining LA was. I experienced love from first sight which convinced me that LA and I were meant for each other.

life in los angeles
First time in LA, December 2013

At the end of our mini-vacation, my friend and I returned to freezing Kentucky having a dream in our hearts to go back to a world-class city.

At that time Mark and I were dating and planning our future together. Both of us were ready to leave Kentucky and experience other corners of the U.S. We knew we didn’t want to stay on the East Coast, but where to move next was not clear as well.

The same friend, I traveled to Los Angeles with, was planning to move to a city of angels and offered to relocate with her together. It was a sign and it was an answer. We agreed pretty quickly without analyzing and evaluating this offer for long enough.

I personally was very enthusiastic about the opportunity to call the city that fell so deeply into my heart our home. And since I was so eager to move to the sunniest place in America, everything else didn’t really matter.

life in los angeles
Santa Monica – one of LA districts where Mark and I used to work

Mark also got excited about the opportunity to move to LA even though he has never visited himself. He trusted my emotions and went with my gut. We believed that moving to Los Angeles meant getting exposed to endless opportunities, saying “goodbye” to winter clothes, enjoying summer every day during each season, and just being happy because we were going to be in LA.

What a mistake it was to believe that the land of promises was ready to receive us with open arms. The reality turned out to be completely different from what we have expected and drew in our minds.

My mistake was to base my decision on the move to Los Angeles after spending only a week there as a tourist. And also listening to stories of my friend who extolled the city’s virtues.

Our mutual mistake with Mark was not to leave LA after we spent a year there. We felt something was wrong and the city was not the place for us, but we kept lingering on in Southern California for almost 4 years. I guess if we left on time then we would have probably found fewer downsides about life in Los Angeles.

Some resources say that Los Angeles is one of the healthiest cities in America. A lot of people exercise, eat clean, and lead a healthy lifestyle. We were working, commuting, and stressing out so much that rarely had time, energy, and desire to work out. But we loved to hike some trails during our time off.

Don’t get us wrong, we are thankful and glad we got to live in LA. We had wonderful moments there.

Yet, the level of daily stress was too high, anxiety and at times depression was taking over. Both of us developed a few health issues related to the pressure and tension of daily life in the largest city in California.

After going on our around-the-world trip and leaving LA routine behind, our health improved. And we got back to our happy and true selves.


So here are the main reasons why life in Los Angeles was not for us: 


life in los angeles
Calabasas, a city in Los Angeles County, some of the most expensive real estate is here.

We are not the first ones who will tell you that life in Los Angeles is expensive.

It’s mainly expensive because of unreasonably high prices for housing.

Prices for groceries are almost the same as anywhere else in the country, gas prices are higher compared to the countryside, but not more than in any other large city of America, restaurants are more expensive, entertainment is probably about the same.

But housing is taking away a good chunk of money out of each paycheck. Comparing to all other states where I used to live, including Washington DC, the most expensive place for me personally was LA.

Most of the large cities in America are expensive. Boston, New York, Washington DC, Miami, San Francisco. It is very costly to live in all of them. But while other cities have higher prices, average wages in those cities are higher to match.

The problem with Los Angeles and actually the entire California region is that locals have lower incomes and with having higher prices they can’t rent or buy a house without sharing it with somebody else.

We thought we were making good money while working and living in LA. In reality, we were spending almost all of it on basic necessities.

We lived comfortably, but without any luxury. Our salaries went towards rent, car loans, car and health insurance, phone bills, utilities, gas, groceries, occasional eating out and entertainment. Nothing extravagant or extraordinary. For gas alone, both of us paid together five hundred dollars per month just to commute to and from work.

life in los angeles

This house used to belong to someone, but today no-one lives here. It’s open to the public for a visit. But what a nice view, don’t you think so?


Just a few days ago I read an article that Los Angeles got the worst traffic congestion in the U.S. for the sixth straight year. Oh yeah, during the time when we lived there it felt like it was the worst. We drove in rush hour in Washington DC, New York, San Francisco, Miami, Chicago, and have never spent nearly as much time in traffic as we were spending in Los Angeles.

For me personally, it was taking on average 1 hour 20 minutes to drive one way to work, instead of regular 25 minutes. It wasn’t even a rush hour yet and we didn’t live too far. Howbeit, it was taking a good chunk of my time to commute. I was leaving our home usually around half past five in the morning with hopes to make it on time at seven o’clock. And I was still late sometimes.

With LA traffic we never knew when was too early to leave to be on time. Every day each of us was spending up to 3 hours just to commute to work and back home. Some of my colleagues were spending more time because they lived farther. If we wanted to explore the surrounding area, the time spent in a car was adding up.

I remember one time when driving on Saturday morning from Calabasas to Disneyland in Anaheim, it took us 2.5 hours to get to the park instead of 55 minutes without traffic. Leaving on Saturday before 8 am didn’t mean that there was not going to be any jam. LA was always so unpredictable! And many times it was just so frustrating and disappointing!

We have known only two people in LA who told us they didn’t mind traffic and actually enjoyed being stuck in it. They told us they could listen to their favorite music or call a friend to chat over the phone.

Well, all our friends were busy living life and there was no-one we could call every single day just to jabber. Plus, we personally preferred spending 3 hours of our time each day on walking, hiking, spending time with each other, talking to someone face to face and doing something meaningful than just being caught in a traffic jam.

Traffic in LA steals your time and it steals your life. Unless you live close to your work or work from home then you might be spending fewer hours in a car. But once you want to get out and explore the city, go to the beach or mountains, you will learn really quickly what LA traffic is all about.



In the beginning, we experienced some sort of euphoria regarding the weather. After spending years in the states with humid and nasty winters it felt wonderful to move to non-ending summer.

We thought that time has stopped.

There was no rain, no snow, no slush, and no season. In the beginning, every day felt like summer. We could work on our tans, swim in outdoor pools, or wear shorts and tanks most of the time. We felt great, but only for the first six or seven months. There was way more to life than getting a tan or spending time in a pool.

To some, it may sound strange, but we started to miss foliage, first snow, rainy days, and seasons. Plus, after the first year in LA, we learned that it was not that perfect summer with many colors, flowers, and beautiful days as you may think of. Most of the year in Los Angeles is usually very hot (unless you are hanging out near the ocean all the time), too dry and plain.

The only time when you can enjoy green colors, blossoms, and flowers is from February to April. All other months look pretty much alike. 

By the way, if you want to visit LA when the weather is at its best, go at the end of winter or beginning of spring. From December to February the weather does not feel like summer at all. Sometimes it’s raining and some other times there are very strong gusts of cold winds, coming from nearby deserts. Many times we were wearing winter jackets and boots because it was that cold.

At the end of April, the beginning of May heat is coming back and the grass, trees, and leaves change their green color to yellow very quickly, leaving everything around look as dry as straw.

Do not expect to experience seasons in Los Angeles. Sure, you can always escape to the nearest mountains, but even there you won’t get a lot. Besides that, it usually takes from two to three hours to drive to a wilderness. We guarantee you won’t be able to leave LA’s heat and busy life on a regular basis.

life in los angeles
Most of the year in Los Angeles is dry. Nature often looks tired and lifeless.
life in los angeles
Life in Los Angeles
life in los angeles
By the way, California experiences many droughts. Just to show you how high the water used to be in this reservoir. The yellow part you see on the picture was under the water some time in the past. Castaic Lake, one hour north from Los Angeles.
A lot of people have misconceptions about the weather in Los Angeles believing that the temperature is 75F (23C) degrees year-round. It is wrong. There are many days with temperatures more than 100F (37C) and quite a few days when it’s cold. Winters in LA sometimes get very chilly and windy, making you wear your warm clothes. Especially it gets colder near the water.


We don’t have anything against LA residents. But this city is definitely not a place where you want to experience how welcoming, friendly, and nice American people are. This is probably the only place in the U.S. where the most self-centered, boastful, and glaringly materialistic people live.

It is part of LA culture to buy fancy houses, cars, clothes, and other things in order to feel important. What you wear, what restaurants you go to and what shop your jeans come from comes to the fore. During all our years spent there, we noticed how much show is put on a display in Los Angeles. So many people love to pretend to be someone they are really not.

Probably every third person you meet in the city of angels will tell you that he or she is a producer, director, well-known actor, model, singer, music writer, app creator, company CEO, and so on when in reality he or she has a totally different job.

I have known people who have been working for years in housekeeping, bartending, retail shops, but claimed that they were Assistant Directors or Producers who were working on a “big TV show or movie project”. Others got a chance to serve a drink to a celebrity, take a picture with him/her, and later state that celebrity was a friend or someone they used to work with while shooting a new movie. We have hundreds of stories like that. So fake!

It felt like LA was a land of broken promises where dreams of many people did not come true, but they kept knocking on closed doors believing how important and awesome they were. Also, there was often an impression that those storytellers felt ashamed of their true selves and what jobs they held. Why would they lie and make up stories?

No doubt, there was a percentage of people who were lovely, genuine, and down-to-earth. The majority of residents, unfortunately, were opposite to that, making it challenging to live in LA.

Does my content help you plan your trip? If yes, I’ll appreciate a cup of coffee from you, so I could produce more free guides and itineraries!


If we had to summarize, we would just say that our values did not go along with what Los Angeles was about. We love living simply, going to church, and connecting on a personal level with others.

In Los Angeles it was difficult.

Most of the people were either too busy with jobs and careers or too self-absorbed. It was challenging to make friends (not acquaintances) and connect with others. We appreciate the slow pace of life, more quality time with each other, and the balance between life, work, and family. Things, houses, cars, clothes, job titles do not matter. The weather alone is not a defining factor and cannot substitute other things in life.

There were a few more reasons why we left Los Angeles, but these five were the main ones.

LA was our base for almost 4 years, but unfortunately (or who knows, maybe, fortunately) it never felt like home. From the very first day in Los Angeles, we didn’t feel comfortable, but we were hoping to adjust and start liking it one day. With every new month, it was getting more and more difficult and we were not able to adjust. Now, looking back in time, we are questioning why we didn’t leave sooner.

Thank you, LA, for having us, and thank you guys for reading!

Have you visited or lived in LA? Let us know in comments how your experience was!

If you are planning to visit Los Angeles, check my guide to the best weekend getaways, LA to Palm springs road trip, and best stops on the Los Angeles to Salt Lake City drive. It will definitely give you some ideas on where to go and what to do to get the most of your trip! 
Life in Los Angeles

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  1. EarlGreyKick says:

    Californian here.

    I don’t understand people’s love with our “sunshine weather”. California is – fundamentally – a desert. Many parts of the state even have their top soil eroded leaving dry rocks. Our plants are spiky cactii. Our air is the driest after Nevada.

    California is very profession driven. Los Angeles has the entertainment industry and San Francisco the tech sector. And our culture, fundamentally is tough and frontier. Historically this was the Wild West and we still have Cowboy towns, Rancheros and ‘Rodeo Drive’.

    California is physically and culturally Frontier-Land. Most people should know this before moving here.

    1. Hi Earl, thanks for this comment, I like the way you put it!

      1. L A in a nut shell sucks shit!

    2. Jake Tiesler says:

      I’ve been here 11 years now, and like you I’m from a more traditional background Nashville,TN

      I agree with everything above, this is very helpful.

      I want to move but always wonder if leaving a good job for better values is worth it, thanks for sharing.

      1. Hi Jake, thanks for stopping by! I was doubting for 8 months either it was the right decision to leave LA or not, especially considering how much effort (and money) I invested into moving and settling there. But after I moved, I was so happy and regretted I actually didn’t do it earlier.

        Overall, I stick to the belief that if I am in a place that destroys me from within as a person, I have to leave and change the surroundings. There are hundreds of opportunities in this world that allow us to move around and find that place where we will feel at home. Especially now, in corona world, when there are so many remote jobs.
        Anyways, I wish you luck and hope you will make the right decision!

        1. Hi Anya. I read your post with interest. I used to live in LA and did so for almost 14 years, from 1993 to 2007– I moved there for school (UCLA) when I was 23 and stayed after graduation. I have to say that when I first moved there and even until I moved, I loved it. Things were different then– housing was affordable; gas wasn’t as expensive etc. Though, traffic has always been bad. I left in 2007 b/c I was unhappy with my career and wanted to live closer to family. And so I have lived in El Paso, Texas since 2007. But I visit LA often for long weekends– and in fact, just got back about 3 days ago. What I saw there shocked me. The homeless population is out of control and it is sad to see that a “world class” city doesn’t know how to address this situation. The gas prices– (I was riding the metro the entire time, so I got to see how things really are– as opposed to being hidden away in a car)- are ridiculous. In essence, I kept thinking, “why would anyone willingly live here?” I mean, if you’re going to pay a lot to live there, you would think you do so b/c it’s nice there. Well, a place isn’t “nice” just because there’s a beach and ocean; it’s nice becuase of how the people live there. And if thousands of people can’t afford housing and live on the street, that is not “nice.” I’m glad I live where I live for different reasons. For one, my mortgage payment is less than people pay for a tiny one-bedroom apt in L.A. Anyway, happy travels and good luck. Gabriel

          1. Hi Gabriel, thank you so much for your input and for a quick update on how things in LA are now!

            When I was reading about homeless people I actually remembered how many of them were (and I believe still are) in Santa Monica where I used to work. I remember how one day after work I was approached by a homeless woman who asked me to buy her food stating that she was starving (although she was in excellent shape and looked great), and I bought into that.
            While walking Santa Monica Blvd looking for a place to eat, that lady shared a lot about her life emphasizing how happy she was to live on the street, don’t owe anything to anyone and don’t have any debt but get social welfare from the government.
            When we finally walked by one restaurant, I offered her to buy a soup with burrito to what she responded: “Nah, I want a burger with fries and soda in this restaurant around the corner…” and pointed out where to go.

            It was soo odd. She was starving but didn’t want the food I offered and was happy to live on the street.
            Later, throughout the months, I encountered similar situations with other homeless people and those experiences taught me that these people were pretty happy to live like that and be homeless. It was not bad luck or misfortune. It was their own choice.
            Among all the countries I traveled to, homeless people in Los Angeles (and San Diego) have the best life. And you are absolutely right, for some reason, local government is supporting their lifestyle.

    3. I love everything about this article! Personally, that city made me sick to my soul. I lived there way too long. The people there are extremely vile/evil.

  2. Nigel Pearson says:

    I’m an Alabamian who was once stranded in L.A. so, I’m sure the way I experienced it was not typical.

    It was somewhat disturbing. Besides the obvious problems like homelessness, high cost of living, etc. It seemed that the environment was really uncared for and there was a sort of “everyman for himself” mentality combined with an ” only the paranoid survive” mindset.

    I have since been to L.A. once more and 2 other cities in California. I have had better experiences in Cali but, that has always stuck with me.

    Again Cali is a nice place but, it just wasn’t for me.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Nigel. Yeah, we are the same way. For us, LA is must-visit but not to live in. Although for many people it will be the opposite.

      1. Sorry to hear that I love living in Los Angeles. I have been living here for 10 years 🙂 I was able to buy a house near to the beach and it’s great but I understand you.

  3. I reviewed several posted articles about living in Los Angeles and none mentioned the crime. After living there 9 years, I left shortly after the Rodney King riots. Yes a long time ago, but a few months before, 2 friends had been mugged and my apartment (2 blocks east of Beverly Hills) was broken into. Yes, this was a long time ago but the feeling of how random crime was will never leave me. Yes, this is a problem in all big cities and I guess that is why it wasn’t mentioned. I lived on the Central California coast for 15 years and rarely locked my doors. But there too, the ridiculously high cost of living (taxes, vehicle fees, rent, gas, park fees, etc.) finally got to me and most of my friends (many friends and associates worked 2 jobs to “survive”). Most of my friends and I left with the ongoing mass exodus from CA. Most friends still there were parented in so they inherited homes. I’m always appreciative of my time in Los Angeles and California, but the I am much happier with a slower, more affordable pace back in the South .

    1. Hi Marian, thank you for sharing your experience! That’s true, I didn’t mention crime for that reason that it’s pretty common in all big cities.
      We personally didn’t feel unsafe in LA, although crime is high in this city for sure. When we lived in Kentucky, which is considered one of the safest states, I was robbed at my workplace in Lexington in the safest neighborhood by a guy who pretended he had a gun. It was pretty scary.
      So you can have a negative experience pretty much anywhere…

  4. Kinda judgmental, no?

    1. Hmm… Judgmental? What exactly? Sharing my thoughts and feelings about LA? Oh sorry, not everyone praises this city.

      1. Hey Juniper,

        I’ve been in LA for 18 years….unfortunately! Yes it has given me good memories…but unfortunately this city, and state, is deteriorating by the second; going down in flames. I’ve tried to hold on to “hope” that this place would get better… but it hasn’t! Anya nails it perfectly! And being here for so long, fighting the good fight, my wife and I are ready to better our lives, and go! The politicians are running this place into the ground….not caring about you, or any other resident…unless you’re an Elite. So thank you Anya for giving me even a bigger sign that it’s time to move on. And Juniper, I hope you do succeed immensely here…. but don’t be surprised if it becomes a “climbing MT. Everest” situation. God bless🙏🏼

    2. Curious Lady says:

      Moved to LA next to City West/Downtown neighborhoods and learning to appreciate living here. It is high voltage, best way to describe. Always turned on. I survive living here by traveling to middle of nowhere in desert or mountains on a weekend about 2x per month or staying back in OC at a hotel just to get a break and walk around some old town and sip coffee.

      I use living here to work on my inner meditation and mindfullness amongst chaos or high voltage living. Focus on the inner which alters the outside world. Helped tremoundously in falling in love with City of LA living. My favorite spots are Elysian Park, Vista Hermosa Nature Park, and the other side of Griffith on Riverside Dr.

      I do sleep with earplugs at night because loud outside. At end of day, living in middle of nowhere or in mountains just as difficult but in different way. I am learning to adapt here to a different environment. Takes time.

      Also single woman living alone and making it out here alone. Got my own place and one of those who drives a German luxury vehicle. Guess why LA vibes with you, tough like the city with its own definition of beauty.

      1. Thank you for sharing, Curious Lady! Another great mini-story that will be definitely helpful to others!

        1. I relocated to Southern California (Long Beach) for a job. It was a promotion, and for twice the money I lived in half to space, but it was in an amazing location on the water. I did enjoy the beach community lifestyle and weather very much. I drove from Santa Barbara to San Diego routinely for business. I got used to the traffic. I looked at it as an adventure from the beginning, which made it a good experience. The variety of people made it endlessly entertaining . The downsides are what are damaging it, in my opinion. Taxes, regulations of the wrong kind of “forward thinking” continue to impact the quality of life. Unfortunately that is big city living, so either put up with it or make change, like the author.

          1. Hey Tom, thank you for your thoughts! It’s amazing that you are enjoying the area and this move worked out well for you! We are all different, so we are supposed to like different things, and that’s great.

  5. I actually appreciate the judgmental article. It’s honest and real—and factually correct…something LA, and California in general, is not. That’s probably why Juniper is offended, and why most of the complaints about judgement tend to come from LA and environs. Is a different culture and in most views, a bad one.

    1. Thank you, Jason, for your comment. I am happy to hear there are still people who appreciate articles that highlight realities as they are! That’s what I am always looking for in others and what I am trying to do myself.

  6. Eh, some of this is true. Traffic sucks but you must live quite far for a commute THAT long. Personally, I do wish we had seasons, but it’s way easier to function when weather is consistent. Most of the “elite” and judgemental people are from non-locals/natives. It’s not hard to spot the Kardashian-wannabes. Cost of living is high, but actually much lower than other cities like SF, NYC, or Seattle. The biggest difference between LA and those cities is you save on a car (loan/lease, insurance, and gas). Again, I don’t understand how you spent $500/month on gas, that’s an absurd amount and you must be commuting from quite a distance. In terms of values, sure church is important to some and if it is, you make it a priority.

    While there are some key points in this article, it seems like you didn’t really invest yourself in the city and it’s culture, and came with the same judgemental attitude you say others around you had.

  7. Hi! Native Angeleno here. Well, Angeleno by way of Glendale, Beverly Hills and now Westlake Village. I agree with everything here! But I would say anyone moving to LA — one of the biggest, most exciting cities on the planet — expecting small town feels is also dreaming. LA has opportunities no other city has and that is why it is competitive and aggressive and overly materialistic. That is why it is exciting and sometimes as you know exciting also means getting out of your comfort zone. Wages are small but for someone like me, that motivates me to fight for a higher wage. It’s that competitive edge that makes me strive for something better because it’s worth it here. Life is incredibly good and fun when you reach that comfort level. And if you are a native or just hang out long enough, you find those little authentic enclaves that are not expensive or showy. I run from the trendy places.

    I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I didn’t have this drive to have a good life here. Sometimes I feel like it’s the confict that forces me to face my fears, get past them and achieve success. But that is me. It is not for everyone and if it’s not for you, it’s TOTALLY understandable. And that is just one person’s perspective. I will one day retire and move to some small European city, but that’s only when I’m ready to hang up my spurs.

    1. Hi Melanie, thank you for your input! Different people perceive this city in different ways, that’s for sure. It is definitely very helpful to learn about the experiences of others, so thank you very much for sharing!

    2. Although I have never lived in LA, or even visited, being a girl from simple (and AWESOME) Texas, Los Angeles has always been a glamorous fantasy of mine. Dreams of celebrities, expensive shopping, cars, and homes, beautiful weather and scenery have always been at the forefront of my mind and on the top of my bucket list. However, now being a mother and an adult who has to think from a financial standpoint, I can see that unless you’re a Kardashian, those dream of glamour and glitz most likely will not be a reality. I’ve read many articles like this stating the many downfalls of not only LA, but the whole state of California. I’m not one to bash anyone’s home state, but with the droves of Californians I see migrating to my state, Texas, I think I’ll stay put. No state income tax kicks some serious ass, just for starters. Thanks for a great, honest article!

  8. Sean McGuire says:

    I’ve just moved to LA in April and I’ve known from the first day that this wasn’t where I want to be a decade from now. I agree with a lot of what you mention here. But I’m here because I’m starting my life over at 31 and trying to jump start a career in the film industry. The reality is right now in America that there’s only three places to be: LA, NYC, and maybe Atlanta. I’ve lived in NYC for 6 months and loved it but struggled with with getting work and had to leave just before the pandemic. I think often about going back. Even though it’ll be just as expensive in terms of housing, there are seasons and I won’t need to have a car. I loved walking everywhere every day and taking the subway. I loved how it put me face to face with my community and allowed me to have a dozen spontaneous genuine interactions with people on a weekly basis. But I intend on sticking out in LA for at least the next 3-5 years so I can get some momentum in my career and finances. I really don’t have any illusions about LA at all. I know it isn’t where I want to be by 40.

    1. Sean McGuire says:

      I’ll also say that I’m only paying $750 in rent by living with two roommates in east LA so far. Which is alleviating a massive amount of stress.

    2. Thank you, Sean, for sharing! I was reading your comment and remembered my friend. She moved to LA just for the same reason as many others do, I guess.
      I wish you lots of luck with your career and hope LA will bring the best for you!

  9. harvey lin says:

    Hi Anya, as someone who immigrated with his family when I was 16 years old, and have since had LA as a ‘base’ till now (I am 35 now), and are preparing to leave within the next year, I couldn’t agree with you more! Even more so, I had made it to the “top” of the SoCal experience, even lived, worked close to home in one of the best places to live that is Santa Barbara, CA. I spent 4 and a half years there working my first job out of college, was paid a very good wage with a great place to live, then I jumped that job to my second job with a 50% pay raise in Ventura, CA. And now I just quit that job of a year and half becaus how much I can’t stand living even here outside LA! Luckily thanks to the labor shortage, I was able to secure a job in nearby Phoenix AZ with another 50% pay raise! Basically they are paying me SoCal wages to work in a lower cost of living state, with remote capabilities, so I took it within a second. To me, the traffic, people (And I was one of the cold, high voltage people who made it one of the best experiences here!) Housing costs (Making low mid six figures and can’t afford a condo) are all contributing factors. It seems like no matter how hard I work, or how good my job is, as long as I am staying here, I am forever paying “rent” to rich people who have stayed here forever, when everything was cheap and easier!

    Now, I do want to address, with my upcoming move to AZ, I am basically taking all my education, network, work experiences that I can only gain in elite worker packed SoCal to a location that is unlikely having the same set of situations. If I had to raise up in AZ, I probably won’t end up in the same station in life. This is probably right by one of the earlier commenters that addressed about the greater-than-usual opportunities that exist in SoCal and the competitive spirit from the people that live here that want those opportunities. But let me tell you, even after you get one of them, it won’t make you happy. This is probably why said people start to show off, in order to quill their dissatisfaction in life.

    I am glad you got out, I wonder after I move, will I feel the same about not moving out sooner? I mean having a SoCal salary in a low cost of living state can’t be too bad, isn’t it?

    1. Hi Lin,

      Thank you for stopping by to share your story and congratulations on your new job and move! Not being afraid to make a change is part of growth and development, so this move is only for the better. Good luck with everything!

  10. Native angelino here (highland park on the border of Pasadena), and I honestly don’t like a single thing about this article. Obviously we have a lot of problems, but I’m from here, my entire family is from here, I have an amazing job, friends, home, life, and am extremely healthy and happy, and I know so many other people and families like us. Just because you move to LA and live one life doesn’t mean all lives are like that. Yes, go to the west side and “white” neighborhoods, and you’ll find a bunch of unhappy midwestern blokes complaining about OUR city. Go home, stay where you came from if you aren’t from here. It’s rare that people who aren’t from here like it.

    1. Hey native angelino from a highland park in Pasadena, I honestly think that’s totally okay not to like every single piece that you find on the internet. More than that, it’s totally okay for people to have different opinions and perceive life differently.

      It’s totally awesome that you have an amazing job, friends, home, life, and are an extremely healthy and happy person while living in LA. But not everyone has that. Just because you personally were born in LA and got a beautiful successful life, it doesn’t mean everyone else who was born or moved there got the same. Also, it doesn’t automatically mean that everyone should enjoy that lifestyle. People in “white” neighborhoods on the west side may have their own reasons to be unhappy and complain about YOUR city. Ever tried getting out of your comfort zone shell to understand why that may be a case?

      Anyways, let’s not compare you, as someone who was born in LA and got all the privileges, to someone who may simply try to move there to chase better opportunities to make their life a bit better.
      And let’s not scatter phrases of “go home” type. It just shows how unwelcoming you as a native of LA are which, however, is not surprising.

    2. I have been living in LA for 8 years now and I don’t think I’ve met a single person who was born and raised in LA and would be nice. I have many wonderful friends and colleagues but all of them either moved from other states or parts of California. Those natives of LA who have lived their entire life in Los Angeles and never traveled are too concentrated on their awesomeness so it’s difficult for them to be acceptive of others who come from out of state or other countries. Actually what’s interesting, the same natives of Los Angeles told me in my face to go home where I belong so yeah it’s not surprising to see such a comment on someone’s blog!

    3. Alex,
      I have lived here for 35 unhappy years! Only a few happy times her and there!!!! My husband and I are considered very successful$$$! We have a home and raised our incredible child. The tone and attitude that you displayed IS Exactly the problem!!!! It’s so sad that you can’t even see yourself because you live in hell! You are so close to it that you can’t see it!
      Poor thing! We are currently trying to move out of what I call Hells Angels! Only Evil lives here with a fake smile on their faces 🤡👺
      P.S. Thanks Anya for being so helpful, honest and only trying to be helpful 🙏🏻🥰

  11. SoCal native here, born and raised. Overall, I have mixed feelings about LA and the rest of SoCal and my experience has been very similar to yours. I have lived in several other states and internationally and moved back a few ago. Now I have a well paying remote job and I’m looking to move out permanently. Part of the reason is because the industries I have worked in are aggressively expanding in other states and I have seen a lot of operations, sometimes whole business units, get relocated there. This brought me to the realization there are several other areas within the US that offer as many opportunities as SoCal and a high quality of life but at a fraction of the cost. I also have my complaints about the pretentiousness and materialism as well as the judgement that comes with not participating in either.

    1. Hi Mack, the reason you don’t look at LA through the prism of pink glasses is that you lived in other states and even countries. This is why you have a broad understanding of others who have negative feelings about this city.
      Thanks for stopping by and good luck with the move!

  12. Thank you for this great article, Anya!
    Twice I almost moved to LA (from NYC) but chickened out both times. Thankfully, it seems. Haha. A friend of mine who lived in LA for years and finally left convinced me not to move there. And your well-balanced article reminds me that the grass is always greener elsewhere and I’m probably better off staying exactly where I am!

    1. Hi Eli! I’ve heard others say that if you love NYC then most likely you’ll hate LA and vice versa, those who love Los Angeles won’t be able to understand NYC city. Not sure if that’s true but many people I met who lived in both cities confirmed just that 🙂
      I wish you luck no matter where you decide to go next!

  13. Anya,

    I enjoyed reading your experience and analysis of living in CA. I am preparing to move to Fort Wayne Indiana after living my whole life in CA – 30 years in the San Francisco Bay Area, and 6 years in South Lake Tahoe. My husband Chris and I have 1 year old twins and we find the midwest to be a more suitable place to raise a family, for so many of the reasons you outline here. The factors that lead to our decision to leave CA were the cost of living coupled with general cultural decline, taxation, political environment, crime and poor forest management/drought. We just purchased a homestead with multiple homes, a large shop, 3 acres of farm land and a pond within 15 minutes of Fort Wayne for a very affordable price. Another attractive part of the midwest lifestyle is that we will be able to afford more travel and leisure..perhaps to some of the insipring European destinations you’ve recently shared!

    Take care!

    1. Audrey, thank you for sharing your experience!
      Midwest is a wonderful place where to raise a family and yes, it is much cheaper. I have warm memories of that time when I lived in Kentucky.
      I wish you luck with the move and enjoy your new home! You’ll see from the first days how welcoming people there are!

  14. Bob Stewert says:

    This is the most accurate and articulate description of L.A. I’ve ever seen. I was born there in 1952 and left in 1972. The air quality is much better now, even tho it’s still awful. We rarely saw the mountains, ever. America is the world capital of materialism, excess and waste, and LA represents that more than any other city in the USA, except maybe Las Vegas.

    I still visit family there, and the fake show-off “look-at-me” attitude is exactly the same as it was 50 years ago. I’m sure the 20+ million people packed in to that town love it there, but it’s not for me.

    1. Would be interesting to learn what it was like 50-70 years ago in LA, I’d love you to tell a bit more 🙂 Thank you for your, comment, Bob!

  15. Thank you for writing this article! I am moving soon (as my lease is up) and I don’t want to stay in my current state, so I have been tossing around where to move and LA was a good contender until I read this article. I have been having second thoughts about LA for a while and reading this made me feel a lot better about crossing it off my list – at least for now. Maybe if I become rich, I will reconsider! Lol However, I wanted to thank you for writing this and also commend you for your patience and kindness when responding to the rude comments this article has received. In all fairness, this is an opinion based article and people who respond negatively or rudely should understand that you are not attacking their city, just sharing your experience and opinions. And really, I don’t think this article is even for the native residents of LA, but for people who are considering moving there or moving out of LA. But if all LA natives act like the guy, Alex, above who said to “go home,” I surely will never live in LA.

    1. Thank you, Tiara, for your thoughts and for understanding what the purpose of this article was! Yes, I had a goal to share my experience with nonresidents to show what it may be like for people who are like me. But not everyone who stops by uses common sense.

      And as for Alex, after his comment he even sent me a disgusting email full of hate and insult, bashing around Ukraine as a country, Ukrainians, and all women on this planet. I’ve seen tantrums like this one in LA on many occasions, so that was really not surprising. But it reminded me right away that people were the main reason why living in Los Angeles was distressing. A beautiful city on the one hand with too many traumatized souls.

  16. Thanks so much for your post! What city do you live in now?

    1. I don’t have any permanent residence since my husband and I like a nomadic lifestyle and move around a lot. Home is in Ukraine and Turkey where we return to often, but the last place where we lived was Dubai.
      Right now we are in Ukraine, arrived here just 3 days before the beginning of the war and haven’t left yet. We made a decision to stay, help and volunteer while investing in the local economy and taking care of a few things. So for now we are here but time will show what to do next.

  17. Love this article! I lived in LA for ten years, which was about 8 years too long. I met someone who eventually became my husband and we had two kids there, which explains why I stuck around so long. It never felt like home. I also never felt like LA had soul. When I lived in Chicago at least the people were authentic, and the harsh winters were bearable, if not ideal. After moving back to the east coast 6 months ago I’ve never been happier. I was a home owner with a decent salary but with the high cost of literally everything raising kids there is dang near impossible. So little support for families and an unbearable homeless problem that just got worse every year I was there.

    1. Thank you, Mickey, for sharing how it was for you!

      I have recently had a meetup with my girlfriends who live in LA until this day and they were also mentioning that the problem with the homeless really got worse, especially after covid. They were also saying that prices increased drastically and it became more difficult to stay afloat.

  18. I have to say… people misjudge Los Angeles a lot. I am a native, 2nd generation of living in Los Angeles who moved to the PNW for some contrast. People are correct concerning weather and seasons, pollution and dusty. If you have allergy issues that will be a huge health challenge.

    But what people get wrong are first, the place they choose to move to, and second the people. People who have negative things to say about the superficiality of Los Angeles are out-of-towners moving to the tourist traps of the entertainment industry. Meaning: People don’t choose to move to the suburbs of LA which are where down-to-earth hard working natives live. That is where the easy laid back lifestyle and humble culture lives. When outsiders comment on Los Angeles they primarily pick some of the most superficial areas to live such as Santa Monica, places where the predominant people and culture are that of other states. Many people who move to Los Angeles land in those Hollywood tourist trap areas thinking they are gonna live their best life. A lot of those people living there moved from other states and countries to “make it big” bringing with them the expectation that is what LA is about so they may as well join. I’m from the beach cities of
    LA and it is really relaxed and humble… even the people with million dollar homes are relaxed and humble. The jobs are different the further you live from the tourist trap areas of living “rich and famous”. The nature is gorgeous the further out into the sub cities you go, life is slower, but the work ethic and hustle brings energy. Traffic is not as bad in greater LA. Where I live in the PNW, I’d rather drive drive the same time at a faster speed than the same time at a slower speed. Imagine driving 20-30mph for 20 miles versus driving 40-50mph for 5-10 miles. Takes you the same amount of time (20 minutes) but one is soul crushingly slow. Most people moving to LA aren’t really moving to the best LA has to offer… those are well kept secrets only the locals know about. 😉

    1. Hi Denise, thank you for your thoughts. The thing is I have never lived anywhere close to touristy areas. I worked in Santa Monica during the year but never resided there. For the first 2 years, I lived in Woodland Hills and the following 2 in Calabasas.
      I also worked in Burbank, Calabasas Hills, Sherman Oaks, and Thousand Oaks and met all types of people through my job. And among all people I met, I fondly remember only three who were genuine and so nice – one who was a producer of the original Law & Order tv series (because he opened the door of his home for my husband and I when we were in transition) who became our friend and another one a music writer and his wife who hired me as a nanny for their daughter.
      These three people are the only people from LA who made me cherish my memories of years spent in this city (but two of them were not even LA natives).

      I also worked as a nanny for different families (including one high-profile family in Calabasas Hills) and my experience was far from the pleasant one (besides this one family of musicians I mentioned above). Since I worked on short-term commitments, it gave me a chance to work with different families with their kids from different backgrounds and for some reason, one thing that they all had in common was this high level of arrogance and attitude that they are better than anyone else.
      I also went for many interviews entering dozens of million-dollar homes, including those in Pacific Palisades, Hollywood Hills, and Calabasas Hills. And none of the owners of those houses were relaxed or humble as you say. They all were snobbish and from the first seconds let me understand that I was a servant.
      I recall with warmth my nanny experience in Washington DC where each of my families was amazing and treated me like I was one of them. And then I remember all my work experience in LA and it makes me cringe.

      The only thing that I really regret about – not moving to southern LA to the area where you possibly live. I’ve heard that Orange County is a much nicer and down to earth place where people are more friendly and welcoming. This is the only area where I wouldn’t mind to return. 

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